Thursday, October 8, 2015

"It's okay, even the sky cries sometimes"

The sky is crying here now which seems appropriate for the day.  One month.  4 weeks.  30 days.  720 hours.  43,200 minutes.  2,592,000 seconds.  My mom has been gone one month yet, somehow, it seems like a lifetime.  It's difficult to wrap your head around not seeing someone for the rest of your life here on earth; it makes me feel sick to my stomach thinking about it.  I miss her more than words can describe.  My heart is heavy; it matches the gloomy, rainy, day outside.  Madi remembered too.  She told me this morning; "it's 11 months until my birthday and 1 month since Grandmam's been gone, but it seems so much longer."  Grace had two days that she didn't want to get out of bed and fought everything about our morning routine.    They're grieving too.  It's definitely true that the hardest part isn't saying goodbye, but learining to live without someone. 

Last night we were watching Nashville and one of the characters had to make the decision to remove her mother from life support.  Though it was just on tv, my heart broke for her and I cried with her.  Watching your mother take her last breath forever changes you.  It is a moment that will be forever etched in my mind. 

I know my mom is with us everyday, we see it all the time.  This is a picture of the sunrise we saw this morning.  My sister took this picture but we looked out and saw the same, breathtaking, sky.  We knew mom was up early, crafting this amazing picture for us to see; she knew we'd need it today.  Thanks mom, love ya. 

No comments: