Lately I've been really struggling with the hand my mom has been dealt. It's still so hard to say those words, "my mom has cancer." I find that there are days I am still really just mad about it, and other days that the tears just fall freely at the thought. The most accurate description of the last 9 months is that...it sucks. It breaks my heart that she has to go through it; I would take it from her anyday. There is a gentleman that is a regular at the bank I work at and everytime he comes in, we ask him how he is and his reply is always the same, "better than I deserve." A few weeks ago he lost his wife after a long battle with cancer. The day of her funeral he came in and I waited on him and, as usual, he still replied "better than I deserve." It amazed me that he still could see he had so much to be thankful for despite the fact that he just lost his wife.
I always try to focus on the good things of this whole experience and remember that my mom has wonderful people taking care of her and that no matter what, we have eachother. I look at the people in OK who just lost everything in the tornado or sit in the waiting room of the cancer treatment center at the hospital and don't have to look very hard to see that someone else has far more struggles than I do. So today, I am "better than I deserve."
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