Dave and I found out we were expecting baby #3 on July 6th when a positive home pregnancy test confirmed what we were hoping for. We were immediately in love with this baby and had talked about names right away; it would be perfect, all the kids would be just over three years apart, just like we wanted. A few weeks later I noticed some spotting and instantly panicked as I had never experienced that with either of the girls. I called my dr. and was able to get in before we were to leave on our vacation out west on the 28th. I went in for blood work and an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed only the gestational sack, not what they should've seen at a day shy of 7 weeks. They told me miscarriage was probable but also said that maybe I just wasn't as far along as I thought still giving us hope that our baby would be fine. We went back two days later for more blood work and another ultrasound which showed the same thing. It was confirmed that it was only a matter of time now until we would lose our baby.
The dr. said we were fine to go on our trip and gave me instructions on what to expect. We decided that it would probably be best to get away for a while and hopefully help get our minds off of things. The next day we loaded into our van with the girls, my brother and my sister-in-law for our long planned vacation out west which took us through six states and 3000 miles in one week; everyday wondering if today would be the day.
I went to see my dr. after we got home where they did yet another ultrasound to see if there was a chance my body had naturally taken care of things. I hadn't so today I had a D&C. While I have been dreading this day I was also ready to be able to finally have some closure. I woke up from surgery and immediately cried because I knew it was over and that my baby was gone. I was freezing cold when I woke up, just like after I had the girls. Although I knew the baby had not been living or growing inside of me, it was still there and now we were left with nothing. I'm so thankful for the wonderful care I received today and all the thoughts and prayers from our families and co-workers. The nurses at the hospital were so compassionate and for that I am very grateful. I came home to flowers on our front porch from my co-workers and had a wonderful meal delivered this evening by my amazing sister-in-law. My mom took great care of the girls as usual and they were so happy they got to have a sleepover with Ga last night. And my amazing husband, there are no words to describe how thankful I am for him.
Little Footprints
How very softly
you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently,
only a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint
your footprints have left
upon my heart.
Baby Reed
August 10, 2012
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